This week has been an interesting one. The habits of daily reading and sitting are becoming easier to manage on a day to day basis. I am finding I look forward to the time spent reading and meditating as I make them a priority and fit them into my schedule. Sitting in meditation and stilling my body and mind does feel wonderful, yet I have recently accepted that I always have a constant yet subtle state of anxiety that cloaks me. It almost feels as though I’m wearing a cape on top of my concrete uniform. I can feel the benefit of meditation and notice my mind is calmer and my body is calmer, but I feel as if I still have two layers weighing me down. The outer one is so subtle and light that it’s almost as if it’s in my auric field. It’s like trying to sleep when there is a mosquito in the room. I can’t quite get comfortable and just let myself “go” for fear that I’ll get bitten. The next layer is a much heavier layer. It will involve work and perhaps be a messy and difficult task. And as I seek to refine my DMP, I find details and clarity often escape me. Do I not know what I want, or is naming and asking for what I want the point of resistance? It sure is hard to dream when you can’t get to sleep….
masterkeylaurie 
October 15, 2016 at 2:20 pm
The ‘mosquito cape’ you mention is intriguing. I haven’t noticed it myself. That doesn’t mean it isn’t there; I’ll be looking out for it the next time I sit. Maybe we have several levels of resistance? Anyway, I like your thoughts.
Love,
Espen
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October 15, 2016 at 4:12 pm
Great post and good questions to carry into the sit. I really love your imagery of a cloak on top of the cement.
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October 18, 2016 at 1:54 am
An ‘aha’ moment for me – I think you just gave me a huge boost!! “Naming and asking for what I want a point of resistance” – Wow!! Big thank you for that and sharing it!!
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October 18, 2016 at 12:48 pm
As someone struggling to overcome anxiety, like yourself, I really related to how you described it. I’d love to learn how you’ve addressed this burning desire in your DMP. I’m still struggling with finding the right words.
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October 19, 2016 at 3:14 pm
Thanks for being so open & honest. I was sitting for meditation daily but now with the guidance of the master keys I’m holding myself to a higher standard. I now have a focus on being still & open.
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October 20, 2016 at 4:49 pm
This is a well expressed blog of your inner process. I look forward to sharing this journey and its revelations.
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October 21, 2016 at 11:04 pm
Thank you for sharing and it is comforting to knoew that we are all in the same boat facing challenges, but will also all get there as long as we hang in and keep influencing the mysterious mind.
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