This week has been an interesting one. The habits of daily reading and sitting are becoming easier to manage on a day to day basis. I am finding I look forward to the time spent reading and meditating as I make them a priority and fit them into my schedule. Sitting in meditation and stilling my body and mind does feel wonderful, yet I have recently accepted that I always have a constant yet subtle state of anxiety that cloaks me. It almost feels as though I’m wearing a cape on top of my concrete uniform. I can feel the benefit of meditation and notice my mind is calmer and my body is calmer, but I feel as if I still have two layers weighing me down. The outer one is so subtle and light that it’s almost as if it’s in my auric field. It’s like trying to sleep when there is a mosquito in the room. I can’t quite get comfortable and just let myself “go” for fear that I’ll get bitten. The next layer is a much heavier layer. It will involve work and perhaps be a messy and difficult task. And as I seek to refine my DMP, I find details and clarity often escape me. Do I not know what I want, or is naming and asking for what I want the point of resistance? It sure is hard to dream when you can’t get to sleep….