Wowza. It appears my subby does not like learning new social media skills! One of my biggest challenges with my MKA adventure has been learning how to set up my blog and Twitter accounts. Along with lots of technical difficulties, all kinds of “big brother” fears come up as I generally avoid internet transparency at all costs. My concerns are around privacy; fear of hackers, the unknown, etc. (What if the wrong person finds out too much about me? What if they figure out my passwords?) I certainly seem to function from a fear based model of existence!
Second big observation is how much underlying anxiety I carry around with me. I am learning to watch my emotional attachments to my thoughts and it is amazing how often I attach fear to my thoughts. I am familiar with thought stopping techniques and cognitive behavioral therapy, but have never tried replacing my negative thoughts and reprogramming my subconscious to experience life from a place of faith and trust and joy. My mom was a fearful person so I learned to be afraid too. I did a lot of exciting things (white water paddling, dog sledding, extreme winter camping, etc) to prove I was brave, but never tackled that subconscious message that the shoe could drop at any minute and I would probably NOT be able to deal with the consequences.
As emotionally and technologically challenging as this course is proving to be, I feel SO blessed to be on this journey at this time in my life. I am committed to the work. The time. MYSELF.